I’ve been taking these long solitary hikes, and I’ve been evaluating my life. And the more I think about it, the more I realize my life is awesome.
For every hardship I’ve ever endured I’ve always inadvertently stumbled into something better. I find a job I love, I lose that job and I fall into an even better version of said job. I lose a meaningful relationship, a veritable buffet of new ones opens up to me. When The Universe closes a door, somewhere a wall falls down. And there are like… a bunch of nazi-gold hidden in the asbestos. Yeah that’s the metaphor I was going for.
I have an extraordinary and expansive support system of family and friends. Part safety net, part fire blanket, I’ve always had the support to take risks and to rebound unscathed. I was never tied down or smothered… there was always just enough give for me to experience the full gambit of things without breaking beyond repair.
I was born anatomically attractive, but never to the point where I could ever coast on my looks. It was always a slight gust of wind to help push me through the door, and never the reason doors were opened for me in the first place. And because of my so-so looks, I was forced to develop skills and talents.
Good things constantly happen to me. But it took several readjustments of my aperture of life to see things that way. I was never falling or failing. There were only minor setbacks and meaningful triumphs. The me I am today, is the best and strongest version I’ve ever been. And tomorrow, I’ll be even better. Imagine that.
And I realize, the deck is perpetually stacked in my favor. It is impossible for me to fail or fall– for very long or very far. So I look at my success as a writer as a bygone conclusion, and all that’s left is figuring out how long or how round about the course is to get there. Do I want to be a millionaire while my parents are still able to enjoy it with me? Or do I want to be old and drooping by the time I’m reaping the benefits of my work?
All that’s left is to put in the hours and the work. There is no carrot or the stick anymore. There is just the road.
*Also, my book is coming out in six weeks.*
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