I have a playlist called the “Rainy Day Car Ride”. It’s a compilation of all the emo music and dramatic stuff I listened to in high school, plus a whole myriad of other songs and artists I’ve picked up along the way. It encapsulates that theme: what to listen to on a rainy day car ride… when the world is pouring misery and gray, and yet life continues in a constant forward trajectory through it all. Basically everything downbeat, muted and depressing. I used to listen to it a lot last year. Practically every day on my drive everywhere… But bit by bit, it stopped being so important. It stopped being the soundtrack to my life.
Tonight is my birthday. Every day is the oldest I’ve ever been, but birthdays in particular give me a day of reflection. I haven’t played my “Rainy Day Car Ride” playlist for so long, it seemed appropriate that I listen to it on my drive home. To remind me what it’s like to feel sad.
Because I haven’t been… in a really long time.